Hello everyone! I wanted to really tell you guys about my 2013 because 2013 really has been my year. It definitely brought change in my life. Not drastic changes, but changes.
So I will tell you all how these changes came to be.
Since I am very very bubbly, a lot of people think that I have confidence! But, I DON'T! Well I didn't, I'm still not 100% confident but I can say that I am willing to try more new things now, than I was able too before. One of the key to open my "Confidence Bubble" was when I started my blog February of this year. I had been really wanting to start a blog, but, I didn't have the confidence to start one. I always had this voice in the back of my head saying "NO. Don't do it! You're only wasting your time." But, one day I was just like "no! Suck it up. Just try!" And so I did, I told my friends and family that I was going to start a blog, they were pretty supportive and this boosted up my confidence. I went seeks without views and no one was commenting on my post, I had days where I felt like there was no point in doing it. Then one day, I saw on my little follow area that I had 2 followers and then it grew to 20 then 40 and then finally 100! I was ecstatic!! I immediately thought, "Hey people are taking notice!!" and I gave myself an imaginary high five! I'm almost up to 200!
About 1-2 months later in my Tv Production class, my friends always wanted me to be the one to act because I had the personality for it and I love acting. At first I was very hesitant, I wasn't sure what people would think if they saw me on Tv. But then I realized and remembered that I have this Fashion blog that everyone on the internet seemed to like, so why not go ahead and try. I started to become more comfortable with the idea of being on camera. It got to the point where I would even volunteer myself to be an actress in the project. I ended up being in 4 projects where I was the main actress! *gasp*
When Senior year started, I made a pact with myself that I will make my senior year worth remembering! I wanted to join clubs. One problem, I just didn't know what. Luckily, my English teacher for my senior year is the head person in charge with plays, drama clubs, and anything entertainment. She made an announcement about the school doing a haunted house for Halloween. I found this to be a great way to put myself out there. I signed myself up for backstage, I was to help out with props and designing the set. But then they started calling the rolls they had for the haunted house and they had said the roll for the Mental Patient. I got soo excited when I heard them say it, I felt like that would be perfect for me, not because I'm crazy but because I have the personality to be wild and loud. I quit backstage and immediately signed up for the roll of the Mental Patient! After the haunted house was over, we started cleaning up and people started asking for the Mental Patient and wanted to know who it was. They were telling me how great I was and how much I scared them. 2 teachers even told me I should work at Fields of Screams. But it was my English teacher herself that gave me the best statement and got me doing what it is i'm doing now. She had said, "Why are you not in my Drama class or Drama club? You would be perfect! You can act!" For someone who loves acting but just never had the confidence to show her "talent", that was a huge deal! So, I did what she told me and I joined the Drama Club, there I got to do skits and now they will be shown in school during the morning announcement! *yikes*
Being in the Drama Club, I got to hear about the upcoming school play, Aladdin. I was soo shocked at myself when I literally went to the character list and looked for the characters they needed and signed up for an audition. No, I did not sign up for Jasmine. I signed up for Genie! And boy was it fun! I got to audition for Genie and I even got callbacks. I had to do a scene with Aladdin and sing with Aladdin, and that's when it went down hill.. hahaha. I was not blessed with singing voice. The acting was on point, but the singing was off key!! MAJOR OFF! But!! I was given the role of the Magic Carpet! You might be asking, "well, why would you be happy you got Carpet when you clearly said you liked acting and being carpet you wouldn't act and wouldn't need to talk!" and you're right, I don't need to talk. I'll just have to dance. But, it isn't about me getting the part. It's about the fact that I AUDITIONED and got a role! If you would have told me Freshmen year that I was going to be a part of the school play I would have slapped you hard on the jaw because you needed to wake up! *The play rehearsals start Jan 2 and the play would start Feb 28 - March 2)
It wasn't just my confidence that was affected. It was also my circle of friends. I mean I still hang out with the same group of friends but by going out of my way to join clubs and participate in school activities definitely gave me new friends, and the great thing about it is that they enjoy the same thing I like. No one there makes fun of each other for wanting to be an entertainer because everyone's thinking of a career in the entertainment industry.
So, for anyone out there who is going through the same things I went through with the confidence issue, well just do it! If you're thinking of starting a blog, being on a play, or anything that needs major confidence, but can't seem to do it because of what people might say or think. WHO CARES! Who cares about what they think. You aren't doing this for them, you're doing this for yourself so that it can benefit you in the long run! And if you do get the courage and confidence to whatever it is you want and your "friends" start making fun of you and are not at all supportive, then maybe its time to drop those people and start looking for new REAL ones!
I hope you guys enjoyed reading this! :) xx
Happy New Year everyone!