Tuesday, September 8, 2015

The meeting.

The moment I found out that he was leaving was the day I began to picture everything that can go wrong in our relationship. The time, the distance, and everything in between. I suddenly felt a pinch of anger, to who? Him maybe, because he wanted to be away from me for a long time. Or maybe it was the situation.
He grabbed my face trying to see exactly what I was thinking. With every touch he sent me, I roughly rejected them. Then with a snap of a finger I felt my eyes water, and a taste of saltiness hit my lips. Tears. I was crying, in that moment the anger turned into sadness. I looked at him and I saw him looking at me, like a natural instinct, I buried my face on the crook of his neck. The place I always felt safe. He held me closer to him while stroking my hair, I start to sob. He lifts my head and says, "Come on lets go outside." He helps me up and I follow him. Once we were outside I couldn't resist not to embrace him. I embraced him like it was the first time I saw after 2 years, I studied his back with every stroke of my hands. He, he held me. I felt so small wrapped in his long arms.
That was the night I began to picture the day I have to drop him off and say goodbye.

2 months passed quickly and all of a sudden he was leaving. The worst thought popped up in my head. What if he gets used to not having me around? or What if we drift apart? 
I told him about my nightmares and he was quick to assure me that nothing of that sort will happen. He would grab my hand and kiss it... Then I hear, I love you. That was it, that was all I needed.
And then he was off. I'll see him in 5 months.

The first 2 weeks was the hardest part, the days seemed to drag.
There were nights I cried myself to sleep and there were nights that I couldn't fall asleep at all because I missed him.
Every phone call I got I hope it's him. Everyday I wait for my mom to scream out, "Mitzee there's a letter for you."
And finally after the 2nd week, my mom calls me and says, "I have good news. He wrote to you..." that's all I heard. Maybe she said more or maybe she didn't, but I just don't remember. Excitement and joy was what I felt. I wanted to drive home immediately and read his letter. I wanted to know how he was, I wanted to know if he missed me too.
I got home and immediately looked for the letter, it was there. On top of the dinning table, and I have never been that excited to open a letter. Hey baby, those were the first words and I suddenly heard his voice in my head. Then I read Please write me back, and tears began to pour. He wants me to write back to him, he misses me...

And that was us for a couple of months, 1 letter every week.
With every letter that he sent me, he never forgot to say why he loves me and why he's lucky to have me.
There's something about seeing the word I love you written in his hand writing.
At that moment, reading his letter and writing to him became my favorite part of my day.

Then finally after 2 months of not seeing him, we got to visit him and see what they've learned in camp.
We pull up to the camp and we see these men in camouflage uniforms standing straight and tall waiting for their families. I see him, I spot him. I point to him and he sees me, he looked down on the ground and smiles. He walks towards his family and I. I looked at him, studied him. He looked bigger, his shoulder wider, his jaw stronger.
We pull up and got out the car, he walks up to me and I open my arms and hugged him. His looks may have changed but his warmth was still the same, the way I fit in his long arms was still the same.
We let go and looked at each other,
Seeing him smile made me realize just how much I love him... At that moment I fell in love with him all over again.

See you in November baby :)

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