This issue is something that will always be apart of me. As much as I want it to just stay away and let me move on, it never will.
I did a blog post on a very similar topic where I talked about loving yourself, and at that time I was at a place where I was very happy with my weight and how I looked. But as time went on, my mind started to drift again. I became obsessed with looking in the mirror every time I pass by it, not just to check on my hair or my face... But to lift my shirt and look at my stomach, it's still not flat.
Its so hard to be so positive about my weight and body when everyone around me is a size 2, has beautiful curves, and a great ass! Something that I do not have.
I want so badly to love myself and be 100% honest when saying, I love myself
How I wish it was that easy, to one day just wake up and not have self hate. But no, that's when it starts, early in the morning when I take off my clothes and I feel my jeans much tighter than they were last week. Or is it all in my head... I'll never know.
I am so tired of pushing the hands of the person I love when he's putting his hands on my stomach, scared that he might see what I so badly want hidden and see what I find so disgusting.
I am so tired of wanting to sit up straight so my back fat wont show. I want to be free in the body that I own!
I am so tired of staying awake at night wishing I had a flatter stomach.
I am so tired of crying and hoping that it all goes away, hoping that every tear that drops is one pound that I've shed.
I am so tired. I am so tired.
So tired of the same problem over and over again. I am so tired of feeling disgusting in my own skin.
-Mitzee
I used to be extremely uncomfortable in my own skin, and I mean extremely. To some extent I still am but as cliche as it sounds I think with age things get easier in terms of just accepting everything you are and the way you look. Even if your friends do have a great ass, there's probably something about your body that they're envious of too. Also don't forget people are so busy worrying about themselves that they're not judging you at all! Hope this doesn't come off as unwanted advice, it's just something I wish someone had told me a few years back.
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www.thesundaymode.blogspot.com.au
Thank you so much! Its nice to get an advice from someone, it really does make things lighter. Thank you xxxx
Delete-Mitzee
Hi Mitzee, I just wanted to say thank you for supporting my blog :) It always makes me smile when you comment! In regards to this post, it breaks my heart. Here is how you can start loving yourself: Imagine a little girl standing in front of you, she is frightened and upset and looking up at you for reassurance, now imagine that little girl is you when you were little, would you tell her how crappy she is and how fat she is? No, you'd give her a big hug and tell her everything was okey, that she was wonderful and unique and amazing. Now every time you start hating yourself, think of that little girl. Be kind to your inner child, and be grateful, so grateful for what you do have because you are beautiful girl :) xx
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to give me your advice! It really does mean a lot to me! Thank you so so so much!
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-Mitzee