Tuesday, August 18, 2015

To you, who I once called a friend

This post was inspired by a Filipino celebrity and blogger, Maine Mendoza, she wrote a blog post on her friend who is suddenly drifting apart from her. 

To my best friend who was pretty much like my sister, you once called my family your second family and my home as your second home. I never thought I would be writing this kind of letter to you- the person who I thought would always be apart of my life. But before I go on to this letter, I want to say thank you for all the memories that you have given me and for always being there when I needed a laugh and of course for being the person I can tell anything and everything to. 

Our friendship was very unexpected, we didn't like each other at first... Or so I didn't like you. I was too quick to judge and later on I came to eat those judgments. But once I gave myself the chance to get to know you, I knew it was one of the best decisions I ever made. Who would have thought that that simple question, "Can I borrow your mirror?" would be the reason for my many wonderful memories. 

Our crazy nights trying to get your size for the modelling agencies, our random movie dates, laughing for no reason at all, for fangirling over a very hot guy we lay our eyes on, and of course for planning our dream wedding... Mostly me because I'm more of the hopeless romantic. But still those are just some of the memories I am happy to keep.

I didn't think things would change this quickly, in fact I didn't think it would change at all. Since things did change, I probably did something to make this happen... Or I didn't do anything at all, I probably didn't try hard enough and began to drift apart. For that I am so sorry. If I ever made you feel unappreciated, I'm sorry. This was not my intention, I probably- no, not probably, I did. I did have times when I didn't reply to your texts on purpose and lied about my plans. I took advantage of the fact that I knew you'd always be there.

I always try to save the relationships I have in my life, that's why I only have very little people who I choose to let in my life. And those people I choose, I fight for them to stay. This wasn't inevitable, but for some odd reason it could not be saved.
Lastly, I'm sorry if you think I did not fight for this friendship enough, i fought for it for as much as I could. I have said "I'm sorry" a lot in this letter, and I think that is all I have to say. I'm sorry for letting you down.

One day I hope to see you again and have our hilarious conversations. 
Till next time my little Pigeon :) 

-Your friend :)

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