Saturday, September 19, 2015

Birthday blues

Lets get one thing straight. It's not my birthday... Yet. But it will be on October 5th and I'm turning 20! Holy cheese balls, 20! I'm no longer a teen- an adult is what I will be called I suppose. It's just hitting me so fast that I'm becoming an adult. It's still quite far but I can still feel it coming. Since I'm turning 20 my mom is giving me more responsibilities, like buying my own car and paying for it! 

Aside from all the responsibilities that I am gradually being given... I'm still living with my mom and I still have a curfew (cry with me) I think that's one thing that will never change. My mom is an old fashioned person- as long as you're living under her roof, you stay on her rules. 
I don't have complete freedom with my life because my mom is very strict. So in that way I still don't feel like an adult.

So in the end, I have the best of both world. I have those minor responsibilities to keep me feeling like an adult but I have my mom to keep me feeling like a baby.
There's a certain part of me who wants to look for a better job and just leave home- then I remember, "who will pay for my house rent? me? nooo." I'm sure every person has gone through the same stage, whether to move out or not. I guess it's just different in our culture. We stay home till we know we're ready to leave the nest, our parents would love for us to stay home.
I know it can't always be like this- one day I'll have to leave home and my mom has to accept that... Even me.

When I was younger I always thought that by the time I'm 20 I'd be living in New York. Not the case at all. When you're young you think everything is so simple, getting a job was the answer. I thought that by having a job it will pay for the rent. And I guess that's where the difference between an adult and a kid lies. To a kid, everything is simple and to an adult... Everything is complicated.

With every year, you celebrate your birthday and you get older. The older you get the more responsibilities you have to face. It's true what they say, "Don't ever grow up... It's a trap."
Right now I'm scared shitless. Scared of what the future has to offer beacuse sooner or later I have to grow up and be independent.


  1. Happy birthday Mitzee :) Hope you have a great day. I think you just have to enjoy life and don't think about growing up. That's just life.


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